Ebola and a Good Read

         ‘If a killing type of virus strain should suddenly arise by mutation . . .
          It could, because of the rapid transportation in which we indulge
          nowadays, be carried to the far corners of the earth and cause the
          deaths of millions of people.’

The quote/prologue at the beginning of the book ‘The Earth Abides’ by George R. Stewart had a definite resonance, when I started reading it a few months ago. The quote belongs to W.M. Stanley an American Biochemist active during the mid 20^th century. The extract is cited as being from a magazine called Chemical and Engineering News, published in December 1947. 
    It was a coincidence, that I started reading this novel amidst the copious coverage of the ‘Ebola outbreak’ that has been spreading like wild fire, both, as a topic gone ‘viral’ and as the literal pandemic that is killing indiscriminately.
    The novel, published in 1949, follows the protagonist Isherwood Williams, as he finds himself as one of the few survivors on a planet where civilisation has been wiped out by a mysterious disease.  Considering the historical context of the time in which, both the quote and, the novel that uses it, were written this book seemed to me, a premonition of things to come. In 1949 much of the world was in the stage of recovering from WWII, commercial aviation was something that was still in its early stages, not yet a commodity to be enjoyed by your average citizen, yet Stanley clearly realized the potential ramifications of a world in which one pole was no longer more than a 24 hour trip from the other. 
   Whilst a virus in transit, able to hop between continents, is arguably something that is actually happening in today’s world I want to avoid the topic of Ebola. As a scientist, Stanley was speaking hypothetically. As true then as it is today, given the right circumstances a virus could travel the breadth of the planet infecting the majority of people. However this is not happening. Currently the Ebola virus is only a serious threat to the people of West Africa, and to a lesser extent the people in the bordering countries. The threat of Ebola to the western world is something, which the media have exaggerated and fabricated because scare stories sell. It’s atrocious that an individual dying of Ebola in the U.S gets more coverage than a whole town of people in Guinea or Sierra Leone, but unfortunately that’s the way it works. Although I kind of want to start writing about how it’s possible that large pharmaceutical companies are orchestrating the whole scene so people spend millions on pseudo cures in a year’s time, I doubt the authenticity of this claim myself and I don’t want to sound like some conspiracy nut. So like a good little English graduate I’ll return to the book, which I thought was well good!
    Above anything else I think it is an important environmental text. I’d definitely put it on a suggested reading list for. . . Everyone I guess. Because, as Stewart writes ‘Biologically, man has for too long a time been rolling an uninterrupted run of sevens’ (Earth Abides, George R. Stewart, Millennium Publishing, 1999, p.8). We’re getting too big for out boots! At least that’s what I think. We’ve got too used to abundance and instant gratification. Society has evolved to accept that we have an endless supply of everything we need. Around 500 years ago the European settlers headed west and arrived to an island of paradise, America. Multiplying and consuming the abundance of all that was nourishing and magical, the colonies grew and again headed west, until eventually they reached another ocean. However this ideology of opportunity and profusion is something that continued to grow, and now our society is practically built on values surrounding these two things. In The Earth Abides, Stewart uses a case study on rats as a kind of analogy for this fatal flaw of our avarice. Brought to a tropical island as stowaways on a boat, the rats gorged themselves on the fruit and plants of which there was plenty. Breeding all year round and with no need to compete amongst themselves the rat population grew large and the rats themselves were ‘extremely well nourished, and even unduly fat’. Then due to their ‘crowding and also probably because of the softened condition of the individuals, the rats proved universally susceptible’ (p.10) to a new disease and soon became extinct on this particular island.
     Reading this it seems obvious that the rats are us. Without having to struggle, or even think about our survival, many of us have become grossly unhealthy, incapable and lazy (I admit I belong to 2 of these categories). Again avoiding the topic of disease, (which is only the introduction to the concepts Stewart is discussing) this book really gets you thinking about us as a species and as a civilisation. Even without ‘Ebola’, which seems to be the hip and trendy threat to our existent at the moment we have lots of other obstacles and potential problems to tackle which aren’t discussed that much in the public sphere; population growth; famine; solar flares, and global warming to name but a few.
   Now I’ve not got a solution here, so if you’re expecting to find one you should probably look elsewhere, perhaps find someone who actually knows what they’re on about. If it’s any consolation for myself, which it isn’t, neither has Stewart. Though this book isn’t trying to provide a solution, instead it imagines what life would be like after an event that has left humanity in ruin.
    Initially it is a book about survival, suggesting that the survivors of the old world could last on canned goods in supermarkets and enjoy relative comfort for some time, but eventually things must change; without maintenance the dams and electrical turbines stop functioning and Isherwood is plunged into darkness; roads get blocked by falling trees, and with no one to move them certain parts of the world become inaccessible. Nevertheless these are just the preliminary problems that face the protagonist. Eventually he finds a partner and has children, where he is faced with perhaps less obvious predicaments. Does he try to teach them and rebuild society or is this a struggle in vain? Can 1940s America be rebuilt in a few generations?
    I don’t want to ruin the book for any potential readers by describing massive chunks but I was amazed about how relevant this text is today. Since the 1940s advancements in technology and home comforts have grown unimaginably, and all the while it seems we could barely conceive a world without them. We have a finite supply of resources on this planet and even without disease or nuclear war it seems we will eventually come to a stage where people cannot survive.  Whilst Stewart doesn’t pose any solutions he imagines a convincingly realistic post-civilisation world where man is lost, despite the accomplishments and power achieved over time.
   I believe the sign of a good book is based on the lasting impression on the reader. I finished reading The Earth Abides a few weeks back now and I’m still turning it over in my head. Part of me was left thinking that we need to make some radical changes to help sustain society and the world we live in but then part of me thinks maybe we should let Rome burn, maybe it will be better in the long run….

READ IT!!

Then tell me what you think.

Wine

As I predicted, tradition has determined the less than regular updating of my blog. However I’m writing this now, which serves as a much-needed breath to prove that it is still alive.

   Since my last post I haven’t done much to brag about. I’ve have been keeping myself busy though; doing odd jobs, applying for actual jobs, making wine and hanging around with the fellow unemployed.  The making of wine has been one of my favourite vocations, as it required outdoor exploration.  Precarious paling, lacerating brambles and waterlogged loam were just a few of the obstacles that lay between me, and the wine I hoped to make. After cycling, hiking and climbing, to, through and over various areas of Horwich I eventually gathered enough elderberries and damsons to create a gallon of wine (how manly).  However, the primal gathering of the berries was just the first step on this demanding journey. Next I had to acquire a demijohn for the wine to ferment in. This involved browsing ebay and going on a drive to a primitive town known commonly as Chorley.  Here I bartered with a strange and solitary gentleman of around 50. In and around his small home was an abundance of diverse and unusual objects, leading me to believe that he belonged to the category of people many television channels seem to be infatuated with, often referred to as hoarders. I’m no slick haired, Italian psychoanalyst so mine is a poorly informed suggestion; he might have been a savvy and cunning entrepreneur.  What I do know is that he had an old ford fiesta, which was being used as a shed for some of his various items. The front passenger seat and footwell of said vehicle had been reserved for the demijohns I had journeyed there for.

   Next, I threw around 2kg of berries into a bowl with, several pints of water, some sugar and a bit of yeast. This was then left for 5 days to bubble away, spewing red pungent liquid onto the kitchen worktop at intermittent times. After 5 days I strained and filtered my viscous crimson creation into the demijohn. At this point there was definitely alcoholic fumes being emitted from, what I could now confidently refer to as wine. Now all I had to do was secure an airlock and find a suitable spot for the wine to ferment in for the next 6 months. As a precaution I placed it on top of a towel in a large plastic box. Satisfied with a job well done I then lounged around until my mother arrived home. Noticing that the wine was no longer desecrating the kitchen worktops she asked if I had bottled my wine and to see how it was looking. On climbing the stairs to the attic, where the wine now resided, we both noticed a suspiciously strong smell of alcohol. Despite this, any potential disasters didn’t cross my mind. Then, Disaster! The box was full of wine. And the once white towel was fully saturated. Looking at the glass I was confused, the airlock was still on the top and the glass appeared to be intact. I lifted up the bottle to take a closer look, leaving behind half of it in the box. For some reason the glass had cracked leaking out it’s precious contents. I was devastated.  I was resolved to dispose of the now contaminated wine and hang my head in sorrow for an arbitrary amount of time. Though after conversing with my cousin, who had been crafting his own wine and assisting with mine, I decided to say ‘fuck it’ to the Internet with its forums preaching sterilisation and instead salvaged what many would call ruined. This involved wringing out the towel until it had released what it had drank back into the box. Then carefully I poured all I could into one of my contingency demijohns I had cleverly acquired, ha ha. This time the glass held, and the airlock begun to bubble away as clear evidence of fermentation. However, I won’t really know if it’s a success until I taste it in 6 months time.  Hopefully it’s not awful.

Back in Britain Blogging

Well, well, well. Here I am, ever present within ‘the real world’. The world of obligations, anxiety and the hour-glass. Thrust into the world of tomorrow, before I even had a chance to think. The world, (dramatic pause) of the postgraduate. The world… Ok that’s enough use of the word ‘world’. As a graduate in English I should be able to come up with some suitable synonyms such as ‘land’, ‘planet’ or perhaps even ‘zone’. No, actually I don’t like zone I retract that one.
   Regardless of the label I am here, in the ever expecting, ever neglecting, ever erm deprecating? Jesus It’s been so long since I’ve written something I’ve practically forgotten how to do it. Not to worry, I’ll figure it out along the way.
     Back to the point in hand, I’ve now returned to my childhood home after an all too brief interlude living in Manchester as a student. In all honesty this is something I expected and accepted. After temporary employment in the early summer, I flew to another continent and spent most of my earnings and most of my summer there. Even without my cross continental excursion I still think I’d have ended up here trying to save up cash to move out, so my holiday (if nothing else) was a welcome delay to assimilation into the real world (sorry there’s the word world again).
   I suppose I’d better give a brief summary of my escapades and jolly journeying in the continent commonly known as North America. As my lovely lass is technically one of them it seemed only civil and proper that I travel over to see her in America. Up until this point she had done all the leg-work/plane work in keeping this relationship going by travelling to the UK, whilst I, often stayed in bed. On more than one occasion I failed to meet her at the airport due to the inseparable bond I had with my mattress.
    Being a Southern Gal my first stop was her home state of Tennessee, specifically the city Chattanooga. All in all it was a surprisingly awesome city. Nestled within a mountain range, it’s the perfect mix of cosmopolitan convenience and rural wilderness. As I quickly learned almost everywhere seems to be a considerable drive away in the states. Next to nothing is in walking distance. Having said that Chattanooga truly has the best of both worlds. Within the parameter of an hours drive you could be on top of a mountain gaping at the wide and all encompassing vistas; rolling hills, winding rivers, pilasters of woodland stretching far into the distance, or you could be downtown getting hammered in a pub called ‘the hair of the dog’ that strives to be authentically British. Whilst my brief and somewhat turgid description might not seem that inviting or awe inspiring there are few places in the U.S.A (in my experience) where you can go from forward thinking student town to uninhibited serene wilderness within the space of an hour. 

A question we all ask ourselves at some time or another.

    I spent a good few weeks staying in the pleasant climbs and furrows of Chattanooga, basking in the sun, gorging myself on smoked barbeque awesomeness and basically experiencing the ‘murican way. However there was adventuring to do as well as lounging and lunching so after some travelling around the state of TN we decided to head west.
   First we flew out to Las Vegas, an offensively hot and ridiculous place. Why anyone decided to build a city in the middle of a vast and unwelcoming desert is beyond me. Putting the seemingly senseless geographical location aside, the city itself was amazing. It’s what I’d describe as a Disney land for grown ups. All your favourite indulgencies that have to be moderated and enjoyed sensibly in the closely monitored world of the everyday are in excess and encouraged in the Vegas.

 Sitting at table trying to get rich from the losses of your fellow man your fed as much free liquor as your slurring tongue will let you order and are free to be wildly intoxicated on any illicit substance of your choice without consequence. Although I personally was not under the influence of any illicit substances I saw plenty of characters who were; wandering around in a state of semi consciousness, grasping at imaginary figures, retreating from waitresses and all without refute. Vegas, a truly magical place.

I didn't have words for this place or picture, but I would thoroughly
recommend  seeing the Grand Canyon to everyone.

      The next location we stayed a few days in was L.A, a dirty place. Although there were some places I enjoyed wandering through, I left this city thinking about how so many homeless people live at the bottom of a hill where some of the richest people in the world reside. Universal studios were pretty awesome but L.A was by no means a nice city. From there we went to San Francisco, which, in comparison to L.A, is beautiful. Again there were large parts of the city where crowds of homeless people lay dejected in the streets. Strangely a portion of the city really reminded me of Manchester. As well as the homeless population the Victorianesque architecture was startlingly similar and the greyness that day made me feel quite at home. After wandering around the city extensively we got to seem some pretty cool areas such as Haight, the golden gate bridge and a tower I forget the name of. All in all we managed to see a large portion of the city. However the poorly treated homeless was also a lasting impression here. There were many who seemed to have mental health issues and obviously needed help, but you often seem to find the wealthiest areas treat the poor population the worst. It seems a tragic symptom of the system.
   This was essentially the end of the holidaying, after San Francisco we flew out to see my cousin in Syracuse, Northern New York. It was refreshing to see a familiar face and have a conversation about family members and such. From here we took a train to NYC where we spent over twelve hours at JFK, and from there we flew back to Chattanooga. I’m not sure if its because it’s genuinely a terrible airport or I just wasn’t in the mood for being in it for twelve hours but fuck JFK airport, Kennedy would be ashamed they used his name for such a awful place. 
     Although I’ve missed out many deets, that was an outline of my five weeks stateside. Though that was about three weeks ago now, since then excitement has been intermittent and less dramatic. However there are a few things I have been getting up to and blogging is a hobby to keep me occupied so there might be a few posts this month, then as is tradition non for about a year.
    

Nice and Cheerful!

Not to sound like some depressing melodramatic emotional teenager but recently I’ve been getting less and less enthusiastic about growing up and assimilating into the ‘real world’ if you can even call it that anymore.
   Every day I turn on my computer and automatically visit my familiar virtual haunts. The sites I frequent the most are Facebook, BBC News, Reddit and Tumblr; they’re usually visited in this order.
   Yet I don’t know why I do, I don’t really enjoy using any of these websites anymore.  They just convince me that we’re heading towards a dystopian world similar to the one envisioned by Cormac Mcarthy in The Road… Well that’s how I feel today anyway.
    I signed onto Facebook (which is a depressing enough statement in itself) and read some of the posts/links my ‘friends’ had posted. Whilst I’m not entirely certain of its integrity there was a link to an article about a law the Tories have allegedly implemented which allows the police to arrest people publically criticizing celebrities, members of government and the royal family. The article continued to suggest that the arrestees would be subject to mental health screenings and then possibly incarcerated. Like I said, I’m not sure if I believe this, as I’d not seen any other information/articles on this before and the article says the law was pasted ‘secretively’. Yet at the same time, my faith in the honesty of governments and the systems in place have never been lower and I don’t think I’ll see anything to convince me otherwise.
   The other thing I saw linked on Facebook today was the confirmation that the rapper DMX would be boxing the alleged racially motivated teen murderer George Zimmerman, which of course inspired lots of rage induced remarks celebrating the potential murdering of Zimmerman. Whilst the Zimmerman case seems to be further proof about the level of corruption within the justice system, this wasn’t the cause of my dejection today. The fact that a company is able to capitalize on a fight between a celebrity and a much hated suspected murderer seems like a premise for some dystopian sci-fi fiction where a hoard of onlookers goad the celebrity into murdering the villain for their own sadistic pleasure like some kind of gladiator match.  Admittedly my outlook it a bit of a jump from the relatively safe organized boxing event that it will be, but it’s not much of a jump!
    Disheartened by my escapades on Facebook I decided to close the tab and scour the pages of Reddit instead. After scrolling through a few dozen pictures of memes, comics and cats I stumbled across some more depressing news that only encouraged my opinion that society is shit. An article about a man named Alfred Wright who was the victim of a hate crime. I read a couple of other articles around the incident to convince me that this is actually what happened but the fact that it did didn’t really surprise me. Wright, an African American, was a well-educated physical therapist living in Texas. After being missing for 18 days he was found with his throat cut, his ear removed and his teeth damaged. However the forensic pathologist put the death down to a drug overdose, forcing the family to seek out a coroner to confirm the obvious.  It’s sickening how in 2014 there are professionals out there who seek to perpetuate racist stereotypes and are comfortable denying horrific attacks such as this one.  What’s even more upsetting is the high probability that the perpetrators will never face any punishment, partly due to the little evidence but largely because of the corrupt and racist authorities.  
    After reading this I didn’t really feel like scrolling through some more miserable news so I decided to browse through tumblr, which is usually just impressive photos or art. However it wasn’t long before I stumbled across another gloomy piece of news.
   A while back I signed a petition protesting against a coal mining company that planned to dump a large amount of seabed onto the great-barrier reef. Today I discovered the petition was useless, as the Australian government have approved this ‘dredging’. Despite this another petition has been launched which I urge you to sign http://www.savethereef.org.au/. Even though I sign these things to help in what little way I can I often feel that these attempts are futile, the bastards have already won, Capitalism reigns and the world is going down the shitter.  Yet the people who actually put in the effort to conserve the natural world and make changes inspire me.
    I’m getting sick with the majority of the Internet. It’s completely saturated with advertisements and fads. People get told how to think without even realizing it, we get monitored and exposed to irrelevant news about people we’ll never meet and end up thinking our possessions and popularity is paramount to our pursuit of happiness. Nothing is real anymore; people are happy viewing the entire world through their tiny screens, when the actual natural world get’s destroyed most of us won’t even notice.  
    On the other hand we wouldn’t be aware of half the atrocities without the Internet and people wouldn’t be able to sign petitions to stop these crimes against humanity… But does that even make a difference? How am I to know whether the petition is nothing more than an accumulation of digits on a screen, are they really doing anything? And does my awareness do anything for my wellbeing? Or does it just make me depressed about how shitty people can be?
Sometimes I think the world would be better off without technology but other times I’m not so sure, either way I should do something with my awareness. I’m still not sure what I can do but I know what I won’t…
Which I guess is a start.

For my memory.

Today I had a somewhat unusual day. Perhaps the strangest part was attending a lecture were the tutor exclaimed with vigor, the phrase 'anal fisting'. This was promptly followed by the waving of his fist in the air. An accurate visual representation for those of us who may have been unsure of what a fist looked like. 

Out of context this may shock and, or appall some of my fictional readership. I imagine a fusty old dear reading this with her spectacles balanced precariously on the edge of her age enhanced schnozz, gasping in sheer terror and abhorrence at the awful phrase I have introduced to her. The rest of my fictional readership consists of young desensitized delinquents like myself who have far better things to be doing that ranting on about arse hands.

Anyway I digress.

This wasn't an uninhibited vocalization of a god sickening expression. There was some arguably educational context involved, which is why this post is for the benefit of my memory and not for the likes of you Deidre.

The topic of discussion for today's seminar was Bret Easton Ellis' Less Than Zero, a somewhat harrowing remark on the sheer godless, narcissistic, brat factory known commonly as LA. Written in the 1980s during a period of economic prosperity, the novel immerses the reader into the world of Clay, the 18 year old son of a movie producer who is struggling to cope in an arid world of androgynous people and perpetual monotony.

The book contains progressively more graphic scenes culminating in rape and pedophilia. All in all not the most cheerful of books but it's debatably a snapshot into a 'real' existence for some people out there. Pretty much all the characters live in a bubble on the cusp of being burst. They have to continue living out their self indulgent, present orientated lifestyles to either success or self destruction. Trapped in a superficial world the characters dare not challenge the ideologies they have been contained by their entire lives. Their social standing and representation is all they have to hold onto, if they were to abandon this they would be lost in a world with no tangible connections to anything else. 

Contained in the opening line the overriding theme is that the characters are 'afraid to merge'. No one dares to be real, yet they often seek out exploits and activities that may create the illusion of being real, to perhaps elevate their own social standings.

Discussing these ideas and more (which I have forgotten) really got my synapses firing. At the moment I'm deliberating on what I'd like to do a research based masters on and this post-modern mediated Orwellian dystopia we call the present is an appealing topic.

The media puts these LA high-flying 'elites' on pedestals, they have the world at their finger tips. They have more wealth than they could ever spend, access to all the material possessions and it's fucking awful. They can no longer be part of anything 'real' and significant (not like the rest of us really can either). Concerned with impressing the world and their peers they become commoditised, expected to look a certain way, own certain objects, say certain things, associate with certain people. Like androids their lives are dictated by others and they can't really escape.

A handout we were given today contained an extract by Terry Eagleton 'In this social order, then, you can no longer have bohemian rebels or revolutionary avant-gardes because they no longer have anything to blow up'    

Their can no longer be hippy movements or punk movements, it'd be a futile attempt to escape a system that can't be escaped from. The world sees everything, then adopts and commoditises it. An escapist culture trying to abandon these concerns is doomed to be consumed. 

Well to tie this up I'll explain how 'anal fisting' made it's appearance in the debates that raged today. Our tutor asked the class whether we had heard a song named 'Stink Fist' by 'Tool'. One of two people claimed they listened to Tool but no one knew the song.

To enlighten us all of the beauty and majesty of this track, David (I think is our tutors name, he's new so I'm not sure) decided to put the song on, complete with on screen lyrics. In his defense it was relevant to what we were discussing. It had lyrics like 'constant over stimulation numbs me' but then it takes a dark turn when the singer describes the intrusion of 'the borderline'. He starts off slow but eventually, the lovely lady who had the pleasure of being the subject of this poetic ballad evidently gets used to these minor intrusions and ends up with an arm inside her.
Pleasant stuff.

Afterwards David asked the class if they picked up on the (subtle) metaphors. I'm pretty sure everyone did, I mean the song was called Stink fist I had my reservations from the get go. However no one was brave enough to utter the words 'anal fisting' which resulted in David's announcement  and performance.

Welcome to the desert of the real.

Imminence

In eight day's I am required by 'the rules' to hand in two pieces of coursework. Both of which will go someway to determining my overall mark, and whether or not I should have bothered with this university malarkey in the first place. I'm yet to start one of these pieces of coursework and to be honest it's starting to bother me.

However I can't summon the motivation to actually get on with it so I thought I'd write here instead. In the end it's all pointless typing that maybe one person will read once. In fact it's more likely that this worthless spew I'm nonchalantly bashing into my keyboard like a shit Virginia Woolf will have more of an audience than the essay I will end up putting several hours into. It's kind of depressing really.

Anyway I've got a topic and a few opinions I could share with you, the internet! So maybe it won't be a complete waste of time. Although I feel like this blog is similar to the unfulfilled past time of praying, in the sense that I spend time trying to engage an audience who isn't there.
But like those religious troopers out there I ain't gonna let that stop me!

As I mentioned I am yet to start ONE of these pieces (notice the emphasis on ONE). Yes I have in fact completed the other assignment (Hooray for me). As a literature student I am required to read a particular text, then read around this text, then write about the text and what other people have written about the text. This means reading literary theorists theories, Philosophers philosophies and Sociologists sociologies... Ok the last one didn't work but no matter because I've decided to use a broader label to categorise all of the above and the many other 'professions' that end with 'ist' or 'pher'. It's a word you may be familiar with, I call them 'Bullshitters'.

 Now this is were it gets kind of tricky because I'm not saying that it's all made up and worthless, but at the same time... It kind of is. To be honest that sentence pretty much summarises all of philosophy and I could stop there but I shall go on to explain why it's all bullshit.

I've noticed through reading and attempting to imitate theorists that there is a underlying problem. This being that you are never right. Nor are you ever wrong... Apart from when you're really wrong.

Anytime a philosopher publishes one of his/her musings it's instantly open for debate and within a decade or two there will be several new papers (each critically acclaimed and published) completely disregarding the original opinion and in fact making a convincing argument to the contrary. As it's just a theory there is no way of proving either of them right or wrong so what's the point?

Of course that's not my argument because there is a point... I think. Through different approaches to an idea or practice we might be able to come up with a solution, providing the idea or practice is something that needs/can be solved (which isn't always the case). So the ideas of theses mystic sages may end up being passed down through the generations and being of some use to some future civilization. Or alternatively they might have some effect on the world today.

I'll use Freud as an example. He came up with various theories to do with the subconscious and how the mind works. This ended up having quite a lot of weight in the world of science and arguably was the basis for treating people with psychological problems such as post traumatic stress disorder. However he was also a cocaine fiend and some of his other theories have always seemed a bit far fetched to me. Like the whole phallic thing where everything's cock-shaped and if you deny this then you love cocks more than anyone or anything and if you're unfortunate enough to be born a women your constantly pinning for a cock of your own, trying to make up for it by buying guns or suggestive looking cactus'.

Obviously not the exact theory but it's close enough for the sake of the argument. So now we have this theory whizzing about when some other recognisably learned individual says "it's all wrong" and implores us "to completely disregard all of that kind of nonsense." 

So now where does that leave us? In exactly the same place! These kind of theories have little to no impact on everyday life anyway they're not even a blip on the radar for most people.
They're bullshit!

However if you study any kind of theory you'll find yourself having to argue with or against the thoerists over and over again until you're sat at your desk red eyed and wired from coffee asking yourself what's the point!?

Well at least that's where I was today. I finished off my first essay and found that every time I made an argument, there was a little voice in my head attempting to contradict or undermine it. Or if made a seemingly intellectual point about a specific niche I realised I could apply that same point to literally everything else in the world so what was the point saying it?

This then got me thinking about whether or not my essay was absolute shit and that I had missed the mark entirely.

I obsessed over this for a short while, repeatedly reading my essay and It seemed like a coherent argument but I couldn't shrug this irking feeling that It wasn't right (I'm worrying about it again just writing this). Despite this inner battle I WAS happy that I had bullshitted well and it was an adequate piece of work. Now I'm not so sure, but fuck it I'm done. The next one can wait til tomorrow.

Peace and Love

 

MITTENS!

Eurgh, look at those fat bastards. Sitting there in their own filth, glaring at that flickering box in front of them. I sometimes forget why I choose to live here. I never bothered to learn their names they don't listen to me anyway. My demands often go ignored, their apparent ignorance only serves to actuate my consternation and thus drives me to demand further.
The one closest is the obvious target.
"Hey you, give me some food!"
...
Typical.
I didn't expect him to get up anyway. All I'm ever granted is a lazy glance that strains at his fleshy neck rolls contorting his face into an exacerbated wince...
Disgusting.
I hate these creatures so.
If they're not going to bother neither am I.
 

 Z

        Z

                 Z 
                    Z

...Well. Nothing seems to have changed here, they're all still there, still no food, I'm still here... Regrettably.
Seems like I have to do everything round here.
I'll find something for myself then.
...
Oh. Looks like my ability to get up and move has enthralled the smaller one.
The child seems inexplicably interested in me.
The fat bastard.

 He doesn't scare me.
I'll just maintain a stoney eyed glare until he stops staring at me.

...
Shit that usually works, there's a definite glint in his eyes.
He's going to do something any minute now... He's going to try and attack me I know it!
Fuck this!

.

<>

.

Eurgh, I hate exerting unnecessary energy, especially when I'm in need of some sustenance.
At least I'm closer to the food now. I spy something on the table.
....

Hmmm, It smells pretty good, not sure what it is though. I'll just tuck in. No one else is bothering with it anyway. Shame for it to go to waste.
...
Mmmm, Not bad.
...

Now What?
Here I am eating my snack in peace and now one of those monsters has decided to get up.
Insolent beast, what's her problem?

Screaming, shouting, waving her extremities.
"leave me alone!"
...

Oh Shit, she's got a bit of wood or something. Fuck this!

.

<>

.

More running!
I detest it.

But I refuse to be in close proximity to any of those creatures.
I'm going to stay here and gaze out the window.

Hmm maybe I should go outside, maybe I should be..

 Z

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What's that? Why is there so much noise in this building?
...
Wait I know that sound.
It's for me!

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Ah they've finally come to their senses.
I wonder what delicacy I shall be indulging in tonight.
Well at least it's meat.
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Ok that meal was far too small.
I require more.
They have more.
Why do they have more?

...

"Hey you!, Give me some of that food!"

...

Ignored again!

I'm getting sick of this.
That's it I'm just going to help myself.
...

"Give me the food!"

...

Maybe.. If... I... Slo-owly... Get... A little... Closer...
...
Haha! Success, fuck you this is my meat now!

...
Fuck he's got up..
He's a lot faster than I imagined him to be.

That's it I'm going out, It's too dangerous in here.

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Ah the great outdoors. Somewhere where I can truly appreciate this meal without the pale faced glances and offensive utterances of those wretches inside. It's actually quite pleasant out tonight, I'll just wait outside for a little while and watch the..

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